As a kid, I was told "girl" and I was called "girl" and it was fine.
I didn't identify as "girl."
I'd dress up in feminine things and look at my pale body and feel beautiful, feel good about myself.
I was beautiful.
I was not a beautiful girl in my head, although people would call me that.
I knew I was "girl," though.
But I didn't think it should matter much.
When I was the only girl in a room full of guys, I often wouldn't notice. Only when there was another girl, say one in a room of 30 guys, and me, would I think, "Oh, I am one of two girls in this room. Hardly any girls in here." But as the only girl I didn't feel like I was different. I gendered other people because people gendered me. It was what was done. But I didn't feel a need to gender myself. I knew (I know) who I was, and it appeared that other people knew who I was (and that I was "girl").
I didn't feel the need to think of myself as "girl" when I was alone. And isn't that what identity is about? When you are there, only you, that is your identity. When other people label you, that is social construction. If I feel like "girl" alone, then I am "girl." But I don't feel anything. I feel feminine and masculine, but not really androgynous. I don't feel genderqueer, at least not as I understand the identity. I feel gender-packaged. Gender blank, but not agender. I don't feel dissonance when other people gender me (yay privilege), or even if I think (actively) of myself as a girl...or even as a boy (although it's weird, it's not conflict!).
Is this just me being a cisgender girl? Do cisgender women feel like this?